When working with couples, I often draw from the Gottman Method to guide our process and provide structure. As a Level 2 trained Gottman therapist, I use this model to help partners identify harmful communication patterns, develop new strategies for connection, and work toward greater emotional intimacy.

One of the reasons I value this approach is its solid foundation in research. The Gottmans have studied thousands of couples over several decades, tracking everything from physiological responses to communication behaviors in what they call the “Love Lab.”

In addition to day-to-day communication tools, the Gottman Method also provides a framework for working through more painful experiences, like betrayal or infidelity. This process takes time, but it’s one that can be navigated in a structured and compassionate way. Rather than rushing toward forgiveness or sweeping it under the rug, we slow the process down. This allows space for each person to understand what happened and how it’s impacted them, so that the relationship has a real chance to heal.

When I work with couples, the relationship is my client. That means I don’t take sides. I support both people equally and look at how their dynamic operates. One thing the Gottman research has shown us is that the ability to repair ruptures is key. It’s not about avoiding conflict—it’s about how you come back together after you’ve drifted apart.

Sometimes that means helping couples see that when they’re triggered, they need a break. The Gottmans recommend a 20-minute timeout, at minimum, to let the nervous system regulate before re-engaging. This isn’t about walking away or avoiding a conversation. It’s about creating enough safety in the relationship so that real listening can happen.

So many of the couples I work with come in saying they have “communication issues.” What I’ve found is that communication struggles are usually a symptom of something deeper. Still, part of the work is learning concrete skills. I teach couples how to listen well—not just hear, but really listen. That includes staying present, reflecting what they’ve heard, and validating their partner’s perspective even if they don’t agree with it.

Most people don’t know how to do this, even therapists. Listening in a close relationship is harder than it sounds, especially when emotions are high. The Gottman tools help us break this down and practice it until it becomes more natural.

Couples therapy is not a quick fix. Especially for couples who have been together for a long time, change takes time. There are years of patterns to unlearn, and those patterns don’t shift overnight. That’s why I take a slow and thoughtful approach to the work. My motto is: slow is fast, and fast is slow. Rushing through this process can lead to false progress. We take our time so the changes we make are lasting.

I also help couples hold realistic expectations. That includes recognizing that not all values and goals will be shared—but identifying the ones that are can become a powerful point of alignment. Therapy helps couples clarify where they overlap, where they diverge, and how they can support each other while staying true to themselves.

I take a collaborative approach to therapy, meaning we will work together to identify the issues you’re facing and develop strategies to address them. Therapy isn’t just about providing advice; it’s about empowering you to make your own decisions and fostering your independence.

In my work, I draw from psychodynamic principles, which focus on uncovering unconscious thoughts and behaviors that shape current emotional patterns. By understanding the root causes of your struggles, we can begin to resolve deep-seated issues and develop healthier, more adaptive ways of thinking and feeling. Additionally, I incorporate techniques that are focused on emotional regulation and cognitive restructuring to address anxiety, depression, and stress.

I also believe in creating a humanistic, client-centered space where you are seen and heard. The therapeutic relationship is a central part of the healing process, and I prioritize creating a space where you feel comfortable sharing and working through difficult emotions.