Supporting Parents Through the Transition

Many parents enter therapy unsure of what to say or how to act during and after a divorce. The process is rarely straightforward, and most people have not received any guidance on how to handle the emotional and practical challenges that arise. One of the most valuable components I offer is psychoeducation.

This includes helping parents understand:

• What types of stressors they may encounter
• How their responses can shape their children’s emotional development
• How to maintain stability during moments of conflict or change
• What behaviors can protect or harm their child’s long-term well-being

Psychoeducation empowers parents to make informed, intentional choices. It helps them shift from reacting impulsively to responding with greater awareness. My work focuses not just on immediate problem-solving but also on supporting long-term emotional health for both parents and their children.

The Most Important Predictor of Child OutcomesExpect from Therapy for Individuals

A key principle I often share with parents is that the most important predictor of a child’s mental health following a divorce is the quality of the parental relationship after the separation. If parents remain highly conflicted, the child is more likely to suffer psychologically. But when parents can maintain a respectful, collaborative co-parenting relationship, children tend to adjust more positively.

This doesn’t mean parents have to be friends or agree on everything. It means they commit to prioritizing the child’s well-being above all else. That includes learning how to manage disagreements without exposing children to hostility or triangulation.

Working with One or Both Parents

While I do not provide therapy for couples going through a divorce, I do work with individual parents and with co-parents if they have been legally divorced for at least one year. If the emotional and legal separation is still fresh, co-parenting work is generally not productive. However, after a year, it may be possible to engage in productive, non-romantic, co-parenting therapy together.

If only one parent is available or willing to seek therapy, I can still support them in learning how to engage in healthier communication, resist getting pulled into conflict, and focus on providing their child with emotional safety and consistency.

Navigating High-Conflict Dynamics

In some families, one parent is hostile, disparaging, or otherwise unwilling to collaborate. This creates a painful bind for the other parent, who wants to take the high road but feels understandably hurt. In these situations, therapy can help you learn how to speak well of the other parent for the sake of your child, even when it’s difficult.
Children are remarkably perceptive. They sense tension, and when one parent criticizes the other, it doesn’t feel like just an insult to the other adult—it feels personal to them. Children internalize these messages and may believe that something is wrong with them, especially if they feel they need to hide their affection for one parent to avoid upsetting the other.

A large part of my work is helping parents avoid these traps. This may include:

• Learning to separate your feelings about your ex-partner from your role as a co-parent
• Understanding how indirect hostility can still impact your child
• Practicing language that affirms your child’s right to love both parents
• Building emotional resilience to stay grounded when your co-parent is difficult

Even if only one parent is committed to this level of awareness, they can have a meaningful positive impact on the child’s development.

Psychoeducation and Systemic Perspective

My therapeutic approach to divorce and co-parenting is grounded in systemic family therapy principles and psychoeducation. I don’t believe in giving prescriptive advice. Instead, I work collaboratively with clients to understand the system in which their family operates—the roles, patterns, and dynamics that have emerged over time.

From this systemic lens, we explore:

• How each parent’s behavior contributes to the overall dynamic
• How generational patterns may be repeating
• What messages are being communicated explicitly and implicitly to the child
• What boundaries, routines, or agreements could reduce conflict

Clients often express relief when they begin to see these patterns clearly. Therapy becomes a space to reflect, gain insight, and try new strategies that support a healthier co-parenting relationship and emotional environment for the child.

Boundaries and Therapeutic Scope

It’s important to clarify the boundaries of my work in this area. I do not provide therapy for couples actively going through divorce. That is a separate process, and it typically involves high emotional reactivity and unresolved grief. My work is not designed to help a couple decide whether to stay together or break up.

Instead, I help:

• Individuals navigate the emotional and practical aspects of divorce
• Divorced co-parents (post one year) engage in productive communication and co-parenting

This distinction allows the work to stay focused, contained, and emotionally safe for all involved.

Building a Foundation of Safety for the Child

At the core of this work is the child’s well-being. Everything we do in therapy is designed to support their development, security, and resilience. That includes how and when parents talk to their children about divorce, how they handle transitions between households, and how they manage conflict in ways that don’t expose the child to emotional harm.

If we can help a child feel like they don’t have to choose sides, that they are safe and loved in both homes, and that their parents respect one another’s role in their life, then we have already made tremendous progress.

Who This Work Is For

Ready to Support Your Child’s Well-Being Through Better Co-Parenting?